Daddy I miss you! Happy Daddy's Day!

One of my greatest fears

Here's the truth. Every time I attend an akad nikah ceremony, I get really sad. Sebab I akan terfikir ntah bila lah my dad will give me away. Or will he ever get the chance to give me away.

Maybe it's my imagination.. but I see him getting more frail every time I balik Malaysia. While he used to be strong and tall (and very bossy, if I may add), he's now mostly skin and bones.

Alhamdulillah, he's healthy and well.. but somehow, I see him getting more frail. He's less alert now. Hence, he doesn't even drive at night anymore (unless it's to the mosque and back home).

So yeah. Today's father's day and I can't help but wonder if I will ever get to give him the chance to give me away. For him to tell another man to take good care of me, like he did all these years.

Anyway, I understand that soal jodoh ni semua di tangan Tuhan.. for He is the best of planners kan. So I will just have to go with the flow lah.. and redha with what comes my way.

For now, I have this obligation to just try and make him happy. And in shaa Allah, he will get his Daddy's Day gift next month when I take him to Old Trafford (he's a Man United fan).

Oh.. And semalam we went to the orphanages..

Ezlin + Isba and me collected money and decided to go to the orphanages again this year. Actually, it all started sebab Kak Tim and Pn Salina tanya about my life in Khartoum (when I met them a few months ago in KL) and I pun cerita lah. And then they told me that they want to donate jugak.

And memang ada niat nak pergi rumah anak yatim pun... sebab that's like a ritual for me here, every Ramadan.

This year, I thought nak pergi rumah kat this area called Sejana.. sebab I was so humbled by the condition of the orphanages when we visited them in 2012.

Plus, it's Ezlin's few last days in Khartoum.. and we thought it would be awesome to visit the orphanages again.. since those were the first orphanages we visited when we first arrived in Khartoum.

So, armed with around USD1,310 we went shopping for stuff. With the current exchange rate of USD1=SDG9.35, we managed to get around SDG12,000.

The orphanage for the girls wanted an oven. "No need sugar or flour or cooking oil. We need a new stove / oven," said the supervisor. "But please buy those made outside Sudan," she added, obviously not very happy with locally-made products. Heh.

Well, we got them a Turkey-made oven for SDG2,300 (inclusive of delivery).

Ta-daaaa... spanking new oven. Hope they can cook more delicious food during Ramadan using this oven.

Ezlin and the girls trying checking out the new oven.

Next stop, we went to the boys' house. While the girls wanted an oven, the boys wanted some diapers (as they have a few sick children there) and food stuff - cooking oil, sugar, rice and flour. Oh, we even bought them some toys. :)

Some of the boys at the orphanage.

The food stuff that we managed to buy from hasil sumbangan our friends.

The boy's place. The healthy children sit inside and watch TV. (Kesian mereka... unfortunately they don't have much toys or books to play or read.)

There are more than 30 boys housed here.

Happy to get some toys to play. I hope the toys will keep them occupied.

Me and some of the boys. The boy next to me is Faris and he is 14. A bit shy, I must say, but friendly nonetheless.

 So itu lah. That was how I spent my weekend. Such a humbling experience. I remember my first visit to the orphanages.. I told myself that I want to come often and play with them more. Sebab they are very welcoming indeed.

But of course, niat di hati hanya tinggal niat je lah. For I didn't even manage to make another trip since 2012.

And yesterday, bila datang balik rumah tu, rasa sedih pulak. Like I should have visited them more often.Should have played with them more or read with them.

I do want to go again, in shaa Allah. And maybe, spend just a little more time with them.

"Stay cheerful, my boys.. and worry not about the future. Just take one step at a time and remember that Allah will always be with you and keep you safe."

Such is life kan. I have my daddy, but he's so far away.. But at least, I have my daddy kan. And I have to bersyukur.

The boys and girls I met semalam takde parents pun.

Sigh. I'm so blessed kan sebab masih boleh bermanja with my parents.

Thank you Allah, for the awesome reminder..