Sunday, August 24, 2014

Why the hatred and anger, my fellow Malaysians?

Rest in Peace
Some of the remains of the Malaysians who perished in the MH17 incident on July 17 were brought home (to Malaysia) on Friday. And Malaysia declared it as a day of mourning.

Well anyway, ada lah yang bising-bising dalam FB pasal ni. And since I malas nak comment kat FB, but nak jugak comment.. here are my thoughts on the issue:


1. Perlu ke berkabung ni? We had our soldiers who died protecting the Country but they were never given any 'national respect' (eg: Those who perished in the Lahad Datu incident.) How come these 'normal' civilians get all the respect?

My thoughts:

When the soldiers signed up as soldiers, they knew the risks. I knew the risks of working in an African country when I agreed to go. Should anything happen to me, my family and friends are prepared already. Not to say that our lives ni are less valuable, but we are prepared. This is what I signed up for.

But to me, those on MH17 are different. I consider those who perished in the MH17 incident as "collateral damage". They were innocent lives who were not a party to either Ukraine or Russia. They were normal people who were on their way to a business trip, conferences and such. For some of the passengers, they were going home.

We not only lost fellow Malaysians, but we lost an aircraft, belonging to our national airline company. An aircraft that had our Malaysian flag on it. The aircraft flew proudly across the skies. When it got shot down, that is already a national disaster in my books.

Anyway, those soldiers who perished in Lahad Datu defending our Country were all given due recognition by the Government and awarded medals for their bravery. They were never forgotten.

 2. Apa yang sedih sangat? People die. Perlu ke sedih sampai nak berkabung?
My thoughts:

Well, to me, memang sedih sangat. Sebab those people onboard never knew they were going to die when they boarded the plane. They were healthy, happy people who can't wait to reach their destination. They had colleagues / friends / family waiting for them at the airport, on the other side of the world.

It's like whenever I tell my parents I nak balik Malaysia, they would be so excited and tunggu I kat airport etc. Always asking me to tell them when I'm on transit or have arrived at the airport. They were probably counting the hours and minutes to seeing me again.

Imagine me telling them that I'm coming home.. but never made it home. Tak sedih ke?

Plus, the keadaan mayat tu, mesti menyedihkan.

Remember, the bodies were left at the crash site for days before anyone had any access to them. It wasn't until our PM made some sort of deal with the military (rebels?) that rescuers could come and pick up the pieces.

Just imagine... how would you feel if your loved ones punya mayat bergelimpangan in some foreign country for days. Wouldn't you want the bodies to be brought back as soon as possible to be given a proper burial?

Anyway, I have seen mayat reput. At one point, I sort of could tell how many days the mayat tu terbiar, because of the maggots yang start to come out from our liang-liang or rongga terbuka. It's not a pretty sight. And that, to me, is sad. Because when our loved ones die, we want them to die the way we remember them. All pretty and proper. All limbs intact. Even though I have seen some gruesome mayat (when I had to cover crime dulu, masa jadi reporter), I don't think I can handle seeing my loved ones in a gruesome manner - eyes popping out, maggots spewing from the mouth, etc.

3. Kenapa tak buka je coffin tu? Itu mesti konspirasi kerajaan.. sebab sebenarnya takde mayat pun dalam tu.
My thoughts:

This is, by far, the most ridiculous thing I've heard. Hatred for the Government begitu tebal ke, sampai nak fitnah cam tu? That you tend to question every single thing done by the Government?

Tapi tu lah. Mungkin mereka tak faham. Maybe they thought the mayat tu semua cantik, macam dalam newspaper tu. Our stewards and stewardess semua segak kan. My friend, Shuba, memang cantik and bergaya.

So maybe the people thought the victims still look like that. Maybe they can't imagine how it is, being blown up after an airplane crash.

Maybe they thought they could handle it.

Trust me, they can't. Not many can handle a mangled body. Lagipun, tak baik mengaibkan mayat. Bukan kah lebih elok kita remember the victims as beautiful Malaysians, like you and me, je?

Like really, I wouldn't want to see mayat my friend Shuba tu. Sebab I just want to remember her as a bubbly pretty girl who's free spirited and full of laughter. I don't want to imagine how she looked like after the crash.

I understand that some Malaysians have this intense hatred for the Government. Government is corrupted lah. Government practices nepotism lah. Semua masuk pocket sendiri lah. Etc. But for once, I think we should all be thankful that the Government did what it did.

You wouldn't want the Government to comply to your whims and fancies and buka coffin tu so that the whole world can see keadaan mayat tu. What if mayat tu, belonged to your family and friends? Would you still like the whole to see how your husband or your dad looked like when he died? Do you think your husband or dad would like it that their picture of death went viral on FB and Instagram?

Think again, my fellow Malaysians. So lets just give them some space. Good enough that their remains have been brought back to their homeland, walaupun bukan dalam keadaan yang sempurna atau lengkap.

4. Ok. So berkabung ni, perlu ke over sangat and pakai hitam?
My thoughts:

Memang lah Allah tak letak dalam Quran yang kalau kita berkabung ni, kena pakai baju hitam. Cuma, societies around the world associate "black" to benda-benda yang menyedihkan. I mean, have we ever seen or attended a wedding (which is a joyous occasion) whereby the bride and groom pakai semua hitam? I know Mat Salleh pakai suit hitam bila kawen, sometimes.. but even then there's always a hint of white.. like a white shirt or white hanky popping out of the pocket.

The thing is, kita kena lah saling hormat-menghormati.

It's so sad that everything is either being politicized or religious-lized.

If you taknak wear black or any dark colors, it's ok. Tapi jangan lah pulak pergi keluarga rumah keluarga mangsa ye. Tak manis. Like it would be so awkward if you come to my family's funeral in bright happy floral colors. Macam nak pergi pesta pulak.

Selalunya, when we go visiting (for funerals or kat hospital), we will wear somber colors and attire. Like takkan nak pakai dress (yang kita pakai untuk gi clubbing) bila pergi hospital or if there's a funeral to attend kan?

Sigh.

Isn't this just common sense?

So yeah. Sedih bila ada some of my friends yang dok kutuk even Malaysians wearing black or dark colors last Friday. Tapi bersangka baik je lah. Maybe they don't realize.. or they are very open minded. Maybe it's ok wearing shorts or bright colors to visit their loved ones at the hospital or kat kubur kot.. Maybe lah.

5. Perlis decided not to berkabung. Takde fatwa pun suruh berkabung?
"Berkabung" is just a term. Tapi actually, it's just the Government, asking fellow Malaysians to just give a moment of our precious time to think about the victims of MH17. To think about the pilots and MAS crews who perished while on duty. To think of all the innocent lives onboard.

Why the whole nation berkabung? Sebab it's our national carrier that was shot down. I repeat: Shot down! It didn't crash due to the pilots' error. Isn't it a national disaster, to you, when almost 300 people flying in your national carrier perished?

Our national carrier was shot down in a foreign land. Our aircraft, blown to pieces. And our fellow Malaysians' (and of other nationalities who trusted our airline and decided to board our aircraft) remains strewn across some lawn for days.

All the Government asked was for Malaysians to come together and show their last respect for the victims' remains who were coming home. Wouldn't you want to come home too? To be laid to rest in your own motherland?

Anyway, I think "berkabung" is encouraged in Islam. Tu sebab bila the husband dies, the wife must stay at home and "berkabung" for a few days. Muslim wives are not encouraged to go out (of the house) and party bila suami meninggal.

It's just to pay the last respect lah. Sebab I learned that the spirits will still be around for 40 days. So the spirits will still be in the house. Tapi tu lah. Takde dalam Quran. So mesti ada bijak pandai akan dispute that. That's why religion is faith. You have to believe, even if it's not scientifically proven.

In any case, I think it's always good to "berkabung" when there's death. Death is not to be celebrated - not in the party-party kind of way. Death is always about the living, offering prayers to the dead.

Speaking of which, in Sudan, people here believe that doa ni terputus bila kita mati. Like no need to recite the Fatihah or the Yassin for the dead.

Tapi, I kata, kita baca je. Allah je yang maha mengetahui kan? Apa salahnya, we pray for the dead.. since we also pray for ourselves. Kita doa je. Kan Allah dah kata, minta je. (Yes, this is in the Quran..)

Surah Al-Baqarah, verse 152:

"So remember Me; I will remember you. And be grateful to Me and do not deny Me."

Surah Al-Baqarah, verse 153:

"O you who have believed, seek help through patience and prayer. Indeed, Allah is with the patient."

Tapi tu lah kan. So sedih lah, to read some unnecessary comments on FB.


May Allah keep our hearts intact, and fill it with compassion and rendah diri. Sesungguhnya tiada yang lebih mengetahui kecuali Allah.

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