It's been an emotional roller coaster ride for me this week.
I kept bugging someone with "jom tengok wayang" or "I miss you ordering food for me" or "I miss us just hanging out at Alamanda", despite knowing that he is more than 7,000 km away.
Sigh.
Women are emotional beings kan.. and yeah, me being a Cancerian, I memang naturally emotional.. add that to the full moon (somehow ada orang kata kalau full moon, our moods tend to change.. Wallahu a'lam) and of course, Valentine's is just around the corner.. a stark reminder that there's no one to be romantically in love with.
Birthdays, Valentine's.. are days where you would know if you are loved. Or not. I guess, one who is married will never know the true meaning of being "single" and "alone" kan. Sure, you can be in a roomful of people.. yet it's when you are alone in the room, reading, that you suddenly realize how empty the bed is. That the only sound resonating in the room comes from your iPad.
Some people enjoy the freedom of being single. I do too. The freedom to go anywhere I please. To do as I please. Without thinking if I've got to prepare dinner for the family.
I am independent. Financially independent, if I may add. And I'm surrounded by kind people who care enough to look for me and make sure I'm alright, if they don't hear from me.
Yes.. blessed am I.
But like I said lah.. there will be moments where I will look at the empty side of my bed, the empty sofa and the empty dining chairs.. and then I would wish that the house is filled with the figure of a man and children running around, messing the place up.
And then I wonder if I will ever find a man who will be brave enough to marry me and make a commitment to be with me through thick and thin. One who will accept me for all my flaws, humps and bumps. One who would listen to my rantings, no matter how nonsensical they may be. One whom I can hug and hold, any time I please.
Sigh.
But such is life. One can't have everything. Besides, the grass always looks greener on the other side. Fact is, every grass has its own problems - weed, ant attack etc.
I must be more thankful for:
1. The peaceful mornings that I wake up to
2. The neat home that I go back to every day
3. The joy of using the bathroom for however long I want, without having someone pound at the door to ask me to hurry up
4. The big bed for me to roll over from one side to the other
5. The ample time for me to read my books without someone asking me if it is time for dinner
6. The quiet weekends where I can sleep in till late because no one is home to jump on my bed and ask me to wake up
7. The times I can eat whatever in the fridge (healthy or otherwise) because I'm only feeding myself
8. The good night's sleep because I don't have to wake up just to change someone's diaper
9. The holiday trips that I can plan for, without much hassle, because I am only paying for one. And even then, I can sleep wherever I want because I only have to think about me
10. The good health, and the ability to take care of myself.
ANYWAY... enough of the ramblings.. I can't wait to go to the safari. Woohoo. Geng Tulips is going on a safari adventure at the Maasai Mara in Nairobi next week. Awesome or what? I mean, what is the meaning of being in Africa when you don't go to the safari kan? It's like going to London and not stopping by Primark / Oxford Street.. or like going to Paris but not taking a a picture with the Eiffel in the background. Heh. I'm digressing, but you get the drift.
I'm pretty excited though. About the safari trip. Even more excited because Maasai Mara is one of the nicest safaris in Africa. It is connected to the Serengeti National Park in Tanzania (the one that I initially wanted to go to) and I so can't wait to see the giraffes and leopards and the cheetahs and the lions. Woohooo.
It will be an amazing trip, in shaa Allah.
It will be a 6-hour ride from Nairobi.. but yeah.. it will be worth the trip, I hope.
So yes, can't wait for next week!
I kept bugging someone with "jom tengok wayang" or "I miss you ordering food for me" or "I miss us just hanging out at Alamanda", despite knowing that he is more than 7,000 km away.
Sigh.
Women are emotional beings kan.. and yeah, me being a Cancerian, I memang naturally emotional.. add that to the full moon (somehow ada orang kata kalau full moon, our moods tend to change.. Wallahu a'lam) and of course, Valentine's is just around the corner.. a stark reminder that there's no one to be romantically in love with.
Birthdays, Valentine's.. are days where you would know if you are loved. Or not. I guess, one who is married will never know the true meaning of being "single" and "alone" kan. Sure, you can be in a roomful of people.. yet it's when you are alone in the room, reading, that you suddenly realize how empty the bed is. That the only sound resonating in the room comes from your iPad.
Some people enjoy the freedom of being single. I do too. The freedom to go anywhere I please. To do as I please. Without thinking if I've got to prepare dinner for the family.
I am independent. Financially independent, if I may add. And I'm surrounded by kind people who care enough to look for me and make sure I'm alright, if they don't hear from me.
Yes.. blessed am I.
But like I said lah.. there will be moments where I will look at the empty side of my bed, the empty sofa and the empty dining chairs.. and then I would wish that the house is filled with the figure of a man and children running around, messing the place up.
And then I wonder if I will ever find a man who will be brave enough to marry me and make a commitment to be with me through thick and thin. One who will accept me for all my flaws, humps and bumps. One who would listen to my rantings, no matter how nonsensical they may be. One whom I can hug and hold, any time I please.
| Marriage is having that special ring on the finger.. |
Sigh.
But such is life. One can't have everything. Besides, the grass always looks greener on the other side. Fact is, every grass has its own problems - weed, ant attack etc.
I must be more thankful for:
1. The peaceful mornings that I wake up to
2. The neat home that I go back to every day
3. The joy of using the bathroom for however long I want, without having someone pound at the door to ask me to hurry up
4. The big bed for me to roll over from one side to the other
5. The ample time for me to read my books without someone asking me if it is time for dinner
6. The quiet weekends where I can sleep in till late because no one is home to jump on my bed and ask me to wake up
7. The times I can eat whatever in the fridge (healthy or otherwise) because I'm only feeding myself
8. The good night's sleep because I don't have to wake up just to change someone's diaper
9. The holiday trips that I can plan for, without much hassle, because I am only paying for one. And even then, I can sleep wherever I want because I only have to think about me
10. The good health, and the ability to take care of myself.
ANYWAY... enough of the ramblings.. I can't wait to go to the safari. Woohoo. Geng Tulips is going on a safari adventure at the Maasai Mara in Nairobi next week. Awesome or what? I mean, what is the meaning of being in Africa when you don't go to the safari kan? It's like going to London and not stopping by Primark / Oxford Street.. or like going to Paris but not taking a a picture with the Eiffel in the background. Heh. I'm digressing, but you get the drift.
I'm pretty excited though. About the safari trip. Even more excited because Maasai Mara is one of the nicest safaris in Africa. It is connected to the Serengeti National Park in Tanzania (the one that I initially wanted to go to) and I so can't wait to see the giraffes and leopards and the cheetahs and the lions. Woohooo.
It will be an amazing trip, in shaa Allah.
It will be a 6-hour ride from Nairobi.. but yeah.. it will be worth the trip, I hope.
So yes, can't wait for next week!
 |
| Oooh.. what a sight! |
Hi there, huns. I had a crappy Valentine's day too because I was away from my beloved. But you know what, I had dinner with my best buddies from the office and wallowed in our collective self-pity. hehehehe...Nice to know that you're going on another adventure. Kelas gitu! And yes, we all should be thankful for being able to raid our own fridge and eat whatever the hell we want, healthy food or otherwise.
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